To whom it may concern at NBC,

I am coming for you. Yes, you heard me right. Under the cover of a moonless night, I will appear with no warning and wreak a most unmerciful havoc upon your network. God have mercy on the unfortunate soul who attempts to stand in my way (I'm bringing my nunchucks). And why, you ask, do I choose to inflict my murderous, barbaric rage upon NBC? It is simple. You canceled "Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip", one of the best shows this trained assassin has ever seen.

And this brings me to the purpose of this correspondence. Though I am trained to be unmerciful, I am willing to extend you mercy so long as you meet my modest but specific demands: "Studio 60" will return in full form next season. I'm talking full-form here, people. That means Sorkin's back as showrunner, the whole cast is intact, the sets are rebuilt, the storylines are continued. And not only that, but you have to step it up from the first season. As hard as it is to imagine, season two has to be better than season one (I can talk to Aaron directly about this if that is what you would prefer).

Can't you see that I'm hurting here, NBC? I may kill people for a living, but I still have a heart (that's broken I might add). I mean, how am I supposed to live without Matt and Danny? And what about all the unanswered questions in my head? For instance, will the show go on? Jack finally stood up for something, which really showed some dimension to his character, but will he retain his integrity? And Matt and Harriet - there's so much I could say about this, but let's face it, the only thing I really want to know is, where's the ring, people? Wedding bells in the future? Maybe he and Danny can have a joint wedding. And let's not forget about all the little B-Storylines that got lost in the mix, including Darius's and Simon's ongoing argument about the place of African-Americans in the arts. And another thought: Danny finally got over his pride and said a prayer. Does this mean there's a conversion in the future? Will the whole Tripp family start attending the local Baptist church?

And not to mention Cal. Let's just take a moment, ladies and gentlemen. He may not have been a main character, but his presence added something invaluable to the show. I realize I haven't even mentioned Tom or Jordan, two of my other favorite characters. Aw, shucks. They're all my favorite. What else can I say? Help me out, NBC. I really didn't mean what I said about all that murderous, barbaric rage stuff. Truth is, I haven't even killed anyone yet. Pretty pathetic for a trained assassin, huh? I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact that "Studio 60" is never coming back. Story of my life. Just one crippling disappointment after another. Oh, well. I guess I'll just go back to my couch and start over with season one. At least I have that cling to.

Sincerely,
Anonymous Trained Assassin


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1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ryan,
That was awesome...seriously entertaining. I agree wholeheartedly! I don't know if you'll even see this, since it's been awhile since you posted this. But, I just had to thank you for posting the pilot episode. I watched/loved the entire season, but never got to see the pilot - good stuff!

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